Doug Jones vs Pedophile: Yes, This Is Real Life

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Your DGB for today is to stop a pedophile from becoming a United States Senator.

The bummer about this race is that, while everyone is rightly up in arms about the extremely creepy weirdo running against him, Doug Jones’ merits have been mainly that he doesn’t victimize children. In reality, he’s qualified, progressive, and ambitious. We long for a boring political race based on the issues.

We’ve asked you to donate to Jones’ campaign before, but we need you to do so again. Also, spend this weekend loudly declaring your feelings on social media, especially if you live in Alabama. The December 12th race is critical to Democratic representation in the Senate, but also our very base integrity as a country.