Your DGB for today is to learn the four Ds of Bystander Intervention.
The only thing worse than being harassed because of your race, religion, sex, gender, orientation, or anything else, is being surrounded by strangers who choose to stand passively by. The four Ds are different methods you can use, individually or together, to support people who are being harassed while modeling intervention behavior for your community.
DGB has paraphrased the advice of Hollaback, a great resource for advice and action on all types of harassment, including local Bystander Training classes.
If you and the victim are both physically safe, and you are willing to assume the risk of the harasser redirecting their abuse toward you, choose a direct response. Tell the person doing the harassment to stop. Advise them to leave, if the situation allows. Take out your phone and start recording the incident if you can. Use our advice from this past Grab while recording.
De-escalate the situation by interrupting it. Ask the victim for directions or the time, placing yourself between the harasser and the victim while speaking. You can also cause a commotion by making a mess, such as spilling a drink.
Seek or enlist the help of a third party. Instruct another bystander to call the police or distract the harasser while you help the victim. Approach the bus driver or store manager and ask them to intervene.
If you are unable to intervene during the altercation, you can still help by checking in with the victim once the incident has ended. Ask them what they need. Can you accompany them somewhere? Call someone for them? Help them make a report?
Remember, your intervention doesn’t have to be perfect. Any form of speaking up is better than nothing, and responding as a bystander also inspires others to courageously speak up in similar situations.