The Unlikable Woman


It’s 2019 and we can celebrate, ladies, because sexism is DEAD!

LOLOLOLOLOL Just kidding, it’s not even winded.

Remember how Hillary Clinton was treated by the media, even “the good ones,” the fair-minded guys and gals writing for the NYT and WaPo, or reporting on CNN and NPR? “Does she smile too much? Or... not enough?” they wondered. “Is she likable?” they asked. We can’t remember them pondering this about a single, solitary male politician, not even when the question was begging to be asked.

Well, the “likability” question is baaaaaack and shockingly, it’s still about a woman. This time, Elizabeth Warren. About two nanoseconds after she announced she had established an exploratory committee into running for president in 2020, the highly gendered hand-wringing began.

Your DGB for today is to hold the media to account for this sexist trope. Every single time they ask if Warren is “likable,” or Harris is “relatable,” or if Klobuchar is “warm enough” or “too maternal,” ask them when the last time was they talked about a male candidate like this. Call them out, and demand the press do better.

“The President and the Porn Star”


Your DGB for today is to think twice about how you talk about Stephanie Clifford, aka Stormy Daniels, and to support sex workers’ rights.

By now you’ve all heard the breathless news coverage of “the President and the PORN STAR!!!11!!!one!” Stephanie Clifford, a human woman, has been reduced to the punchline of a snickering joke. The implication is that it’s bad enough POTUS had an affair, but an affair with a “porn star” is even more shocking, demeaning, or distasteful. This attitude represents a mixture of misogyny and classism, with a sprinkle of Puritanism on top. Bottom line - if we’re feminists or womanists, if we believe that  “women’s rights are human rights,” then we need to show up for our sex worker sisters, too.

One way to do that is to stop participating in the dialogue that shames Stephanie Clifford for her job, that treats her like a joke, that implies Clifford’s work makes Trump’s infidelity somehow worse. Call out journalists and activists for their stereotyping, shaming, and bias. Another way is to support sex workers’ rights. For a gold star in allyship, support legislation that decriminalizes sex work.

And if you want to see what an unapologetic badass looks like, follow Clifford on Twitter. You will not be disappointed: @StormyDaniels.


Women’s History Month

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Your DGB for today is to read up on why we celebrate Women’s History Month.

March is Women’s History Month and it coincides with International Women’s Day on March 8th. We wish we could celebrate it by ending Donald Trump’s presidency, but any indictment from Mueller would do nicely. Today we want you to read up on the history of how Women’s History Month got started.

Want some images to further push your vagenda of manocide? Browse these images of badass women throughout history doing badass things. You can also find speeches and videos, even read some articles. You could spend your entire day discovering all the different ways that “females are strong as hell.” While you don’t have to spend the entire evening, do spend a few minutes gathering strength from your sisters because we are in this together and it’s our month… the whole thing.


Thank You For Your Service


Your DGB for today is to retire your pink kitty-ears hat, at least for marching. That’s it! Easy, huh? Your hat has more than fulfilled its duty, empowering you (w00t!!) and making a huge visual statement at the 2017 and 2018 marches - doesn’t it deserve a rest?

Women of color and trans women have been telling white, cis-women for over a year now that the hats are problematic. “It’s JUST A HAT!” you say, exasperatedly. Yes, but by the same token, if it’s “just a hat,” it should be easy to thank it for its service and hang it up, right? Our sisters are beginning to wonder if we are really serious about making our feminism intersectional and committed to standing up for them when we can’t even let go of a durned HAT. In addition to the hats excluding women of color and trans women, the widespread refusal to let them go has itself come to symbolize the broader problem of white feminism. White feminism centers the issues and voices of the most privileged women over those of everyone else and ignores the voices of the more marginalized. In light of this, this headgear has become truly divisive to the Women’s March, the Resistance, and the feminist movement. So please, the next time you break out your comfortable walking shoes and poster board, leave the pussy hats at home.



Hellbent Podcast

Your DGB for today is to check out the Hellbent podcast. 

This podcast was created by Sarah Lerner, creator of @IfHillaryHad, featuring tweets from an alternate reality where Hillary is the 45th president of the United States, and Devon Handy, who are childhood friends. They break down politics with a conversational, feminist edge and a million “fuck”s. Note: they don’t give any passes to Bernie Bros.

These awesome women were kind enough to answer a few questions for us. Our conversation is below:


DGB:  You have action items for people to do after each episode. This is our entire business at DGB and it takes up all of our time. How in the hell is this just a footnote for you? Are you wonderwomen?



Hellbent:  We wish! In all seriousness, we don't think of our action items as a footnote, but we do try to make sure that we're encouraging folks to get & stay engaged in national, state, and local politics. This work is a marathon, not a sprint, so we hope that providing our listeners with a starting list of things to do helps push them to keep showing up and doing the work.



DGB:  We donated to support Hellbent and we retweet you way too much from our personal accounts. From 1-10, how creepy is our Resistance crush on you?



Hellbent:  Aww, your support and retweets mean a lot! Don't stop.



DGB:  What's your rage fatigue strategy? How do you stay engaged in your anger instead of sliding into depression over this whole mess of an administration?



Hellbent:  Honestly, doing the podcast has been a great avenue for us to channel our anger and frustration. It's a big release in a lot of ways. We've both found that staying on top of the news and being armed with information helps us stay motivated.



DGB:  In a related question, are you in talks to make IfHillaryHad a theme park or possibly a gated community we can move to?



Hellbent:  Ha! No, but if you find the portal into that world, please do let us know.



There you have it. Hellbent creators have confirmed what we at DGB believe: staying engaged may be tough, but it’s the best way to deal with our grief and anger. Keep going, Grabbers. It’s everything.


Intersectionality Isn’t Just About Race - No TERF

Your DGB for today is to print out this list of ways to be a good ally to transgender folks, for yourself and/or people around you.

Recently the term “TERF” has been circulating social media, partly because of comments by prominent feminist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. TERF stands for trans-exclusionary radical feminism, and it’s an extremist movement that seeks to erase and silence trans women by claiming they are not “real women.” This article breaks down the issue:

Here at DGB we urge our Grabbers to make sure their feminism is intersectional and their social justice concerns are inclusive; resisting the tenets of TERF is part of that.

If you want to do even more, please consider supporting Trans Lobby Day, which is coming up on June 8th/9th. Trans women are real women, and real women are powerful.


Feminist Cybersecurity

Your DGB for today is to become a digital ace by downloading, reading, and implementing Hack*Blossom’s comprehensive tutorial on cyber security.

Anyone who has spent two minutes on the web knows that it’s jungle out there. And seriously, we obviously spend way more than two minutes online. Some of us even work here *cough*DGB*cough*. Hack*Blossom, an explicitly feminist activist organization, seeks to arm internet users with the tools to keep them safe from hackers, trolls, and identity thieves. Hack*blossom knows that members of marginalized groups are even more vulnerable to being harassed, threatened, and subjected to hate speech than others, which is why its cybersecurity guide is aimed at these folks.

Everyone deserves to feel safe and be protected from malicious ones and zeros on the worldwide web.  Download this guide and pass it on to your friends.  


Eat Pie While Honoring Women in STEM!

Your DGB for today is to cultivate women in STEM. What can be better than honoring both Pi Day and Women’s History Month by combining them and supporting women in science, tech, engineering and math?

Check out this statistic from a study conducted across 14 countries:


“The probability for female students of graduating with a Bachelor’s degree, Master’s degree and Doctor’s degree in science-related field are 18%, 8% and 2% respectively, while the percentages of male students are 37%, 18% and 6%.”


At DGB, we like to start our little girls early. We love Rosie Revere Engineer and Ada Twist Scientist by Andrea Beaty, whose stories are inspired by historical accounts of the contributions of women in science and tech. When looking for books to buy for your girls be sure to be mindful to the way in which female characters are portrayed. This recent video is a startling reminder of the traditional lack of female voices in stories (and also a great promotion for Rebel Girls, another book on our reading list.)

For inspiration in current events check out these “rebel girls” who smashed glass ceilings (along with the patriarchy) when they landed a plane in Saudi Arabia, a country where women are prohibited from driving:



So, be mindful of how we can contribute to future generations of women in STEM. Begin early with the girls in your life through stories, ongoing conversation, and education. Foster and encourage interest by signing them up for lego robotics, woodworking, and science fair.

And, because we at DGB love a good pun, be sure to eat actual pie while celebrating Pi day: crumble crust and crumble patriarchy.


How to Observe Tomorrow’s Women’s Strike

Your DGB for today is to prepare for tomorrow’s International Women’s Strike.

You can honor the day in three specific ways.

If you’re a woman, or identify as such, and it’s logistically and financially feasible, take the day off of work. See our protest calendar for activities to do instead.

If you are man/identify as such or have to go to work, wear red in solidarity (you have a red shirt or tie, don’t you?) and share your reasons on social media.

Shop at women-owned businesses. See our DGB Consumer Resources for suggestions.

If DGB staff households are any indication, even an hour without a woman results in total chaos. Let’s make our impact known.


Assertiveness Training Part Two

Your DGB for today is to practice a few verbal skills to help you assert yourself.

This is the second installment in Grabs on assertiveness for people who identify as women. If you are a person who identifies as a man, go buy this shirt instead. If you missed yesterday’s Grab, start here.

Today, we add a few speaking techniques to your arsenal. Many of us replay interactions in our minds after the fact, imagining all the things we could have said to stand up for ourselves. Practice these two simple phrases in your daily life and you’ll be more likely to be blunt on your feet next time.


Say “No”

And do it without a qualifier. Don’t say “no, but…” or “not really” or “maybe.” Simply say “no.” It’s a powerful word when said alone and it may make you uncomfortable at first. The following everyday queries are great opportunities to use “no.”:

Someone asking to take you out for a meal/coffee/drinks

Advances from a mall kiosk employee

Upsells from servers or retailers


Say “Thank you”

Take credit for your worth. When someone compliments you, say “thank you.” Don’t say “thank you, but (so and so) helped” or “oh, it wasn’t a big deal.” Don’t diminish your value by lessening your accomplishments. Own that brilliance.


Stop saying “Sorry”

We aren’t asking you to remove this word from your vocabulary. If you truly did something wrong, by all means, let the “sorry”s flow freely, but we want you to stop saying sorry for things that aren’t your fault. Don’t say it when you’re in a meeting and you need to insert your opinion. Here is a great article on how one woman broke her “sorry” habit.

Now, between yesterday’s exercise and today’s verbal assignment, you’re basically Elizabeth Warren with a microphone. Congratulations!


Women In Sports

Your DGB for today is to support athletes who happen to be women.

Did you know that in the 2016 Summer Olympics no group won more medals than American women? Or that the winningest coach in NCAA history is a woman named Pat Summitt? How about that the U.S. women’s national soccer team has ranked number one, eight out of the past nine years?

Despite their clear ability to succeed and even dominate their respective fields (or courts), significant wage and recognition gaps still exist between male and female athletes. Many weak excuses are thrown around for these disparities. But, whether the claim is that women don’t generate as much revenue or that there is a lack of fan interest in women’s sports, we are asking you to help the current or future Serena Williams, Maya Moores, and Simone Biles by doing one of the following:

The next time you need to buy a gift for a young girl, make it sports equipment or a book about female athletes.

Attend or watch on television a women’s sporting event. Bonus if you do this with a child so they can observe female athlete role models. Here you will find stats, tickets, and ways to watch professional women’s teams: basketball, soccer, and softball. Also, support these athletes from the ground up by attending college events, which are inexpensive and local.

Special thanks to the Women’s Sports Foundation for inspiration on this Grab.


Women’s History Month

Your DGB for today is to get intersectional AF for Women’s History Month. We are asking you to learn all about intersectional feminism today and to pick one book or movie from our suggested list and commit to reading or watching it this month.

March is Women’s History Month and DGB believes there is no use in celebrating women’s history if you aren’t going to be as intersectional as possible while doing it. First, you have to understand what intersectionality is. Yes, we understand some of you may already know and use it on the regular, but for those of you who don’t, intersectional feminism is feminism that advocates for the rights of all women. Intersectionality understands that not all women’s experiences are the same just because they are women, but identities like class, race, sexual preference, religion, and ethnicity, can all shape the way the world treats them and their outlooks. To learn more, read here.

How can you make sure your feminism is intersectional? Follow women that don’t look like you on your preferred social media sites, and for the love...please just listen. Listen to what they are saying and their feelings. Do NOT butt in with how their feelings are offending you. The next thing you can do is read one of these books or watch one of these movies this month, and let us know what you are reading or watching so we can read and watch along with you.

Feminism is pointless if we aren’t doing it for all our sisters, so this Women’s History Month, make sure you’re prepared to be as intersectional as possible.


Women’s March

Your DGB for today is to support the upcoming Women’s March on January 21st. There’s one week left to prepare!

If you’re attending the Washington March, we raise our fist to you. Revel in this momentous occasion and seek to make it as intersectional as possible. Organizers recently released their platform, and it is as progressive and inclusive as we hoped it would be. Read it and know what you are marching for and supporting. We also ask that you read the Women’s March Statement on Inclusivity to better understand why it’s so important that white women comprehend their privilege and that everyone comes together in sisterhood and unity.

If you can’t attend, DGB has several ways for you to stay involved and stand in solidarity:

Find and attend a local sister March here.

Own a piece of history and benefit the March organization by purchasing a commemorative shirt here.

You can also find merchandise here, the proceeds from which help to subsidize travel costs for marchers with limited financial means.

For more resources and connections, visit the event page here.

If you're marching, don't forget to print our official DGB Women's March poster and send us photos of your experience!

Grab Back while marching for our rights, our safety, our health, and our families. In the wise words of Beyoncé “okay ladies, now let’s get in formation, prove to me you’ve got some coordination.”


Bechdel Test Awareness

Your DGB for today is to reject latent sexism in film by choosing to see movies that pass the Bechdel Test this holiday season.    Popularized by cartoonist Alison Bechdel, The Bechdel Test is an easy method of determining if a movie has substantive female representation:    1) The movie has to have at least two named women in it   2) Who talk to each other   3) About something besides a man    Amazingly, it’s estimated that around half of all movies fail the test.    This site    keeps a good database   for when you’re deciding which classic holiday movie to pop on while you snuggle up with family and hot cocoa. Or, if you're one of those people who goes “out” (we at DGB vaguely remember putting on pants of the non-yoga variety and going to the movies), it also maintains a list of films currently in theaters.    Make sure your movies pass the Bechdel Test and support female representation this holiday season.    

Your DGB for today is to reject latent sexism in film by choosing to see movies that pass the Bechdel Test this holiday season.

Popularized by cartoonist Alison Bechdel, The Bechdel Test is an easy method of determining if a movie has substantive female representation:

1) The movie has to have at least two named women in it
2) Who talk to each other
3) About something besides a man

Amazingly, it’s estimated that around half of all movies fail the test. This site keeps a good database for when you’re deciding which classic holiday movie to pop on while you snuggle up with family and hot cocoa. Or, if you're one of those people who goes “out” (we at DGB vaguely remember putting on pants of the non-yoga variety and going to the movies), it also maintains a list of films currently in theaters.

Make sure your movies pass the Bechdel Test and support female representation this holiday season.